Welcome

Our old universe has
fallen into impossible chaos and destruction, but the Legendaries will save us; are saving us; have saved us. Soon many lives and memories will fill this new world, and give it purpose.

Events

Terrene continues to heat
up, both in temperature and in conflict. Beta is asking for spies to infiltrate Omega's camp, while Dentelle simply wants to inquire after the scientist's progress. Later in the season, Beta is hosting his annual crater city tournament, where people can test their Pokemon and their leadership and strategies against one another.

Season

Summer will be here until
September. The heat of summer is here in full force, as well as the accompanying summer thunderstorms. Bug, electric, and fire types all thrive while others wilt under these conditions.

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Jani
Kaien


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Shasyu
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Keep it PG! | rules


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Pokemon: Terrene Pokemon: Terrene

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 Mistake Spotting
Kenos
 Posted: Jun 7 2018, 04:09 PM
Quote


Player


Possible typo in the Jobs thread.

Underneath "Service People" in the "Jobs and Skills Guide" the description lists "messengers, maintenance and repair persons, deliver boys or girls, and a number of others".

Should this be "delivery boys or girls?"

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Rixie
 Posted: Jun 7 2018, 10:45 PM
Quote


Lore


Siv:
+2 PP for Charizard X and Y

Aya:
+6 PP for typos in Evolution and Ghost Pokemon threads

Sev:
+2 PP for incorrect link in Who's Who
(Please paste in a link to the thread in the future! It makes our jobs easier.)

Aya:
+2 PP for typo in Trading thread
+4 PP for incorrect links in Job Directory

Sev:
+2 PP for typo in Job Directory
Sorry, no PP for this since it's an old quest that can't actually be claimed at this point in time.
+2 PP for typo in quest

Kenos:
+2 PP for typo in Jobs thread

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Sev
 Posted: Jun 8 2018, 07:25 AM
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Player


(Whoops, sorry for no links last time. My bad, lol)

Bees Quest

In the quest info:

It seems like every time the humans get close to defeating the bees, their queen shows up and wipes out the human's Pokemon, before vanishing once again to let rest, recover, and let her workers continue chasing away the humans.

The word let doesn't need to be there, lol.

Alternately it could be written as 'let herself rest and recover, while her workers continue chasing away the humans'. Which....flows a bit better I think? I dunno. Just a thought. =)

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Aya
 Posted: Jun 29 2018, 05:49 AM
Quote


Temp


Hey, so Shas is still listed as a temp in the staff thread. 8D

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Sivanandi
 Posted: Jun 29 2018, 06:46 AM
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Player


The wild SIV used GRAMMAR! It's super effective! (I think)

Heights and weights

Here's one thing:

"...depending on their level and on their genetics."
Could become...
"...depending on their level and genetics."

Also this:

"...reaching sexual maturity, as they grow older and gain levels."
I don't think that comma is needed.

Also this:

"...can be larger or they can be smaller..."
Could become...
"...can be larger or smaller..."

A lot of this is just for conciseness's sake, so even if it doesn't actually earn me PP, it should probably be changed for the sake of convenience. But, of course, don't hesitate to award me PP if you think I deserved it ~

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Jani
 Posted: Jun 29 2018, 09:56 AM
Quote


Admin


Sev- +2 PP

Yeah, I think that was a case of my trying to write two different sentences at the same times, and they merged and got all weird. xD

Aya- DANG IT wOMAN GIVE ME TIME, I promoted him at midnight right before bed and didn't have time to change everything. ORZ. +2 PP


Siv- I removed the unnecessary comma, but the other two are simply stylistic choices and are not incorrect. +2 PP

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Sivanandi
 Posted: Jun 29 2018, 11:36 AM
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Player


Affiliations

"...leader of crater city and more than that, the leader of a movement."

Should become...

"...leader of crater city, and more than that, the leader of a movement."


Also here... Canons

"Rumor has it, he can open up portals to the other universe but..."

Should become...

"Rumor has it he can open up portals to the other universe, but..."
lol rixi told me I was wrong
Also this:

"There can never be enough explorers, and these are the brave souls who do the most footwork of the group; an individual that Omega often meets himself to make sure they are aware of the risk in front of them."

That semicolon is weird; the second part of the sentence isn't independent. Perhaps it could be fixed to this:

"There can never be enough explorers, and these are the brave souls who do the most footwork of the group. Omega often meets these individuals himself to make sure they are aware of the risk in front of them."

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Sev
 Posted: Jul 2 2018, 05:31 PM
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Player


Omega's Profile

Specifically the post containing his pokemon. As I was reading I noticed a few oddly worded sentences in the descriptions. =x

Eve:
The very first Pokemon Charles ever received, *Eve has come with Charles and Bimba to Terrene and with a combined effort of will and Eve's psychic abilities, she's part of the reason Charles made it to Terrene in the first place*. Most bonded with her human, both of them are often seen walking together without a pokeball to separate them ~and most commonly what's used for any battles that Charles runs into.~

That first sentence {marked with *} flows a bit strangely. Perhaps writing it as "Eve came with Charles and Bimba" rather than 'has come'. It also feels like a really long sentence. Perhaps a period or semi-colon should go in there somewhere?

Perhaps you could use this as an alternative?
"The very first Pokemon Charles ever received, Eve came with Charles and Bimba to Terrene; and with a combined effort of will and Eve's psychic abilities, she's part of the reason Charles made it to Terrene in the first place

The second part {marked with ~} is just another word choice that seems odd to me. Rather than saying "most commonly what's used" it could be changed to "most commonly who is used"? I dunno, that one might just be a style choice. I just think it seems out of place, lol.


Edna:
Ah, sweet Edna; the tale that Charles is a witch was born partially from her. A young Misdreavus all of just born from wherever ghosts may be, the small creature with a mischievous streak got a hold of a dusk stone in Charles' pack and evolved herself into a Mismagius; labeling Charles permanently as the local witch which was witnessed by all of Ashfield and Crater City's Beta simply drove it home. However, Charles hardly blames Edna and she's since become a good friend despite a little bit of a troublemaking streak. She is also not always in a pokeball and almost comically sometimes sits on Charles' head.

Easy one first~ I feel like troublemaking should have a space or a dash in it rather than being one whole word.

Next one is a bit more complex, lol. It's a long sentence to begin with but the wording in some parts feels off. In the first part A young Misdreavus all of just born from wherever ghosts may be the 'wherever ghosts may be' sticks out to me as being an odd word choice, lol. Perhaps something like: A young Misdreavus all of just born from wherever ghosts appear? I dunno, style choice might play into that one . What seems out of place to me may be perfectly fine to everyone else. =)

Then there's the part following that: the small creature with a mischievous streak got a hold of a dusk stone in Charles' pack and evolved herself into a Mismagius; labeling Charles permanently as the local witch which was witnessed by all of Ashfield and Crater City's Beta simply drove it home. The second part of that makes it seem like all of Ashfield witnessed Omega being labeled as a witch rather than witnessing the Mismagius evolving which is what caused him to be labeled? So maybe something like this instead?

"the small creature with a mischievous streak got a hold of a dusk stone in Charles' pack and evolved herself into a Mismagius. This event was witnessed by all of Ashfield, permanently labeling Charles as the local witch and Crater City's Beta simply drove the rumor home." Could also keep the semi-colon after Mismagius but the whole sentence seems fairly long imo. Breaking it up into two might be best?


Kite
A new member to the new from Terrene like Edna, Kite is still wild and young and they haven't had the most time to get to know each other. However Kite is plenty valued, and the stubborn little mouse is finally beginning to warm up to Omega.

That first sentence lol. I'm guessing the second 'new' should actually be 'team'. Looks like a chase of trying out two different ideas of how the sentence should go and merging them into one somehow, heh.

A simple edit should clear that odd starting bit up:
A newer member to team and from Terrene like Edna

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Kenos
 Posted: Jul 6 2018, 01:18 PM
Quote


Player


Specific Pokemon Details

QUOTE ("Unown")
Unown were not the first Pokemon on Terrene, but due to their ability to transfer themselves interdenominationally, they felt the disturbance created when Arceus pushed the first few Pokemon through.


I might be wrong, but did you perhaps mean that they can transfer themselves interdimensionally?

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Jani
 Posted: Jul 13 2018, 10:11 AM
Quote


Admin


Siv: +4 PP.

Sev: +8 PP. I'm actually just going to go through this whole profile and fix / rewrite it.

Kenos: +2 PP. And can I just say that I spent an entire day laughing at myself for that particular typo after you pointed it out. Yes, the Unown travel interdenominationally. /snort

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Kite
 Posted: Jul 13 2018, 02:19 PM
Quote


Player


okay so i was going through this and the currency thing at the same time and i noticed something... odd.

you earn 50 tokens from a topic, presumably one page.

"Additionally, travel threads have the potential to earn more tokens. For every page past the first, an additional 15 tokens is added on to the total money earned upon completion. So, for example, if your travel thread makes it onto the third page, your character would earn 130 tokens. The exception to this is traveling with an air mount, where the base token amount is only 25, but each player post past the first one earns another 15 tokens, with a maximum of 100 tokens."

If it got to the second page, it would be 15 additional tokens to 50, so 65. If it got to the third page, it would beee... 80 tokens for that.

okay this thing

'3-USE TMS, $1,1000'

prettyyy sure that should be $1,100?

It should be noted that these prices may vary, depending on who is selling, what the demand is, and so on.'

It almost sounds like that the comma shouldn't be there after 'vary' but that might be just me.

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Sev
 Posted: Jul 13 2018, 03:55 PM
Quote


Player


Tic's profile

In Sona the Swinub's information is this line: She has since healed of her injuries and is beginning to fond of her rescuer.

Should probably be 'is beginning to become fond of her rescuer' =)

Shhh...I need the PP for supply packs >.>;

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